|18of21 Sabina Andersen|
|Internal Series||◀ Brains, #18 ▶|
Age 5: "No, Daddy read it! I want Daddy to read the story to me!"
Age 6: "That was the most perfect hand-stand ever! I hope Daddy saw."
Age 7: "Daddy squished the mosquito that bit me! I can see my blood that the mosquito took. It's so icky!"
Age 7: "Best birthday party ever! Mommy and Daddy really love me! I'm so happy!"
Age 8: "My cuts always feel better when Daddy puts the bandages on them. He makes everything better."
Age 9: "All the boys in my class are so mean! Why do they always pull my pigtails?"
Age 10: "We have to go visit Dad in the hospital. Mom says he will be home soon. I sure hope so! I don't feel safe when he's not at home."
Age 11: "It's not true! Daddy can't die! Only bad guys die! Daddy was good! He's my hero! No!"
Age 11: "I can't believe I'm never going to see him again. I wish I could go with him."
Age 12: "Why don't they understand I don't feel like going out? They just want me to move on with my life but I can't."
Age 12: "I don't care if he's married. I love him! I want him!"
Age 12: "Do these voodoo dolls really work? If they're supposed to make him love me, they're not working!"
Age 13: "I cut my arm up again... So much blood... I feel dizzy..."
Age 13: "If Mommy only knew the real reason my sheets were stained with blood..."
Age 13: "Why don't men look at me? What is wrong with me? Why don't they like me?"
Age 13: "Why is this happening to me? I must have done something really bad to deserve all this."
Age 14: "He doesn't pay attention to me because they're too small! Why can't they be larger, fuller? They need to grow faster!"
Age 14: "Mom hasn't noticed my cuts at all. No one pays attention to me."
Age 14: "Is it that obvious that I stuffed it? It must have fallen out of place - it looked perfect in the mirror!"
Age 15: "The cold blade feels so good against my warm body... How many cuts do I deserve tonight?"
Age 15: "I'm not afraid dying... just afraid of living alone."
Age 15: "I hate myself. I deserve to die. I hate myself. I deserve to die. I hate myself. I deserve to die."
Age 16: "I will never be beautiful enough to attract a man. No man will ever want me. I will die alone, and a virgin."
Age 16: "The last thing I remember... I was in my room and the blood was flowing from my wrists... Where am I? Is this a hospital?"
Age 16: "I feel better after talking to Dr. Gudrun... I feel like, if he could just love me back, maybe I wouldn't want to die all the time."
Age 16: "Leukemia? And they're afraid I'll die if I cut myself again? Maybe I should kill myself. Life is so unfair."
Age 17: "I haven't been to a church since Dad died... but Dr. Gudrun says this is really different."
Age 17: "The psychologist was right... I feel a new purpose with the Church... I finally feel like I belong in the world! I love Malcolm!"
Age 17: "He's my destiny, I know he is. I've never met anyone like him... but no way he'll ever take an interest in me!"
Age 17: "Men are finally paying attention to me! It's all thanks to the Church for helping me grow!"
Age 18: "Malcolm says my death can serve a greater good... I've thought about dying so much, but never as a way for it to help people..."
Age 18: "Of course I would! I'm ready to die anyways! I'll do it for you, Malcolm! I'll do it for us!"